22-09-09 / MILANO FILM FESTIVAL
Having attended the Milano Film Festival in 2003 and 2004 I was very much looking forward to being there again, and it didn’t disappoint. Okay, so I got savaged by Milanese mosquitoes again and one even seemed to follow me home (as I simultaneously write this and scratch the tumescent bites on my arm, a threatening buzz keeps zipping past my ear) but you can’t have everything. Partying got the better of me every night, despite my efforts to the contrary, and old friendships resumed while new intelligent, funny and charming acquaintances were made. A funny snippet of information was a member of the festival team telling me that he screened What about the Bodies in Antarctica to a boat full of Russian sailors travelling from Argentina. That has to qualify as my strangest exhibition location so far.


The jury work was interesting as there was much difference of opinion and while things threatened to become heated, a level of democracy prevailed and we got through it without anyone throttling their fellow jurors. Somebody told me after the ceremony that there was a palpable tension when we were on stage together, which I certainly didn't feel, but looking at the photograph (above) there can be no arguing against their assumption. Best film went to Laurence Thrush's Tobira No Muko (Left Handed) from Japan, and a special mention was awarded to Futoko (The Dark Harbour), also from Japan.

Something amazing happened on the closing evening which I feel lucky to have witnessed and been truly touched by.  The lion’s share of the work was over for the staff, who could now start to unwind, so everybody was drinking and eating food in the park when the heavens opened.  Now, I have been to a ton of festivals and as many of their parties, but this moment was something else.  The DJ cranked up the music and MSTRKRFT’s remix of Justice’s D.A.N.C.E will never be the same again.  Although the tables were sheltered by huge umbrellas, people leapt out into the rain to dance and became joyfully drenched.  And it was good rain too, accompanied by the electrical storm I had smelled coming all day long (the last night of the same festival in 2003 also featured a storm over the castle).  Everyone present versus the world.  Crunchy beats, thunder, lightning and rain.  I was happy to be alive, such was my whimsy, and it was a festival highlight I will never forget.

17-09-09 / PROGRESS IN DUNGENESS
Had a great few days on the UK’s south coast, in Dungeness, with Soft actor Jonny Phillips and his brilliant dog Bess.  The perfect location for peace and quiet, luxuries like internet access and mobile phone coverage are replaced with howling winds, angry seas, cosy log fires and a barren, desert-like landscape.  It is truly inspiring and comes as no surprise that Derek Jarman chose to relocate there.  The New York Times once said of the area “If Kent is the garden of England then Dungeness is the back gate”. 


The primary intention of the trip was to untangle the sprawling feature film idea I have been developing for the last seventy-nine years, which threatens to become quite unmanageable for my pudding-like brain.  Although we made some progress, the solitude also proved ideal for viewing the feature films in competition at Milan Film Festival this week, where I am on international jury duties.

Most gratifying of all was the photography and the successful tests I did for an ambitious short film idea I mentioned in the 01-03-09 entry. Despite being a year or two away from any kind of completion, it's exciting to finally start the ball rolling. May it roll and roll, crushing all baddies in its path. No goodies, though. We like goodies.

02-09-09 / THINGS WE LEAVE BEHIND / AVATAR
Finished editing Andrew Brand’s new short film Things we leave behind, an old-school chiller set in the appropriately desolate landscape of East Anglia.  The successor to his first short To his knees he fell, it has a... nnngh... (say it)... nnnnnngh... facebook page here.  Any upcoming screenings will be announced therein, though the sound mix hasn’t even happened yet so we’re talking about a good while away.

I have become quite fascinated by the general disappointment surrounding James Cameron’s trailer for Avatar.  Having been his only project since Titanic, largely consisting of ten years development and research into “cinema-changing” 3D technology, the first teaser (albeit in standard 2-D) admittedly looks like nothing more than a computer game.  I can’t help but fantasise about this being a deliberate ploy, a masterstroke of reverse-marketing genius.  Paranoid fantasy and complete rubbish of course, but the suits are always looking for the next marketing gimmick and if any film’s hype is massive enough to take such a risk without damaging its potential box-office, it would have to be this one.  Daft conjecture aside, it does amaze me how everyone has decided the film’s fate on the basis of a trailer because, let’s face it, trailers are shit. The fuss has been almost entirely about how it will revolutionise 3-D technology (therefore getting bums on cinema seats AND taking a huge step towards anti-piracy) so let's wait and see. Meanwhile, yet another redux of the much-spoofed scene from Der Untergang (Downfall) sums the whole thing up nicely and is well worth a few minutes of your time, unless you speak German, in which case it won’t be very funny at all.

In other news, a bewildering choice of potential projects threatens to confuse me into pursuing none of them.  I even had to stop myself from beginning a comic strip while unable to sleep.  Still, it’s all exciting and gets me out of bed in the morning.  As do the fresh duck eggs from a Derbyshire farm I recently camped in, oh yes.

03-08-09 / PICK OF THE WEEK IN CAMPAIGN MAGAZINE
Choose a Different Ending has been honoured with 'pick of the week' in the industry bible that is Campaign magazine. Scans can be seen here and here.

27-07-09 / CHOOSE A DIFFERENT ENDING
Good lord, a quarter of a million hits now.

16-07-09 / CHOOSE A DIFFERENT ENDING
The campaign has so far received an impressive 36,000 hits on youtube. A lot of people, that.

05-07-09 / CHOOSE A DIFFERENT ENDING ON YOUTUBE
The interactive version of the anti knife crime commercial is now online if you fancy a muck about. The sixty-second standalone version will presently begin rotation on MTV in quite nifty style, taking the start and end of the commercial break. The online campaign is made up of approximately thirty individual segments which you can navigate through. Two of the segments end with music videos and I should point out that those are somebody else's work. I hadn't even seen them until the films went live. To be fair, I had little to do with the post-production throughout the whole project, which is a first for me. I don't exaggerate when I say it's amazing that the work retained any kind of coherent shape considering the bizarre volume of complications, so I doff my hat to a persistent production team, editor, and agency for being such soldiers.

22-06-09 / HAMBURG / COMMERCIAL MADNESS
Haven't had a moment to post for some time. The Hamburg Short Film Festival was only a couple of weeks ago but it may as well be months. It was my eighth consecutive vistit to the festival and the first time I wasn't screening in competition, although Telling Lies screened four times as part of their 25th anniversary 'Best of' programme and my favourite outdoor event 'A Wall is a Screen'. I also found out afterwards that What about the Bodies screened in the 24hour marathon screening, which would have been great to attend, grrr. Highlight shorts for me were Juho Kuosmanen's Citizens (Finland), Benjamin Kracun's Plane Days (England), Susanna Wallin's Marker (Sweden/England), Ken Wardrop's The Herd (Ireland), Abdolrahman's Mirani's The Wooden Carpet (Iran) and Daniel Elliott's Jade (England).

While I was at the festival two other things happened back home. First, I made the shortlist for a new short film commission, which I'm very excited about. Second, I got the job directing a commercial, which resulted in constant phone calls asking me to return home prematurely and, when I didn't, an immediate return to London instead of Nottingham. So it was straight onto casting duties after stepping off the plane and one week after that we were shooting. It was easily the toughest shoot of my career, though all of the difficulties were of the unnecessary kind. I certainly won't be the only crew member to be saying "Oh man, once I did this job where..." in years to come. More on the actual commercial in due course.

12-05-09 / RETROSPECTIVE IN ROMANIA
Timisoara, Romania. A ten-film programme and the weather was perfect. My biography in the festival brochure was amusingly sourced from the internet and was a combination of my own bio and that of a music producer, also called Simon Ellis. So, aside from making films, I now work with Britney Spears and All Saints. This has to be the best clerical error of my career so far.

The trip was only a couple of days long, but eventful. My favourite shorts were Ilian Metev's documentary Goleshovo (UK/Bulgaria), Anthony Chen's Haze (Singapore) and Yasmine Novak's Zohar (Israel). The producer of Zohar told me a great story. I was at a festival in Bulgaria a few years ago and I met a filmmaker/actress who is Julia Roberts' doppelganger, and it turns out that she is now acting in a feature film where she is constantly mistaken for the actress. I can't wait to see it as the resemblance is uncanny. One thing that wasn't so brilliant about the trip is the nasty cold that I contracted, which the paranoid gremlin is hoping isn't swine flu now that the aches have started. I was fine one moment, then I walked from one side of the square (pictured above) to the other, and started sneezing. As i'm typing this my red-raw nose is dripping, which is shit.

31-03-09 / PICTURES FROM HAMBURG
I have finally got some photographs from the al fresco screening of Soft at Hamburg Short Film Festival last year. It was shown as part of the brilliant Wall is a Screen programme and there were something close to one thousand people present. The images can be seen on the Soft page (once there, hover your mouse over the image to see a second shot).

14-03-09 / SOFT BOWS OUT WITH FINAL AWARD
After a nerve-shredding few weeks where everything was looking grim and I had seriously been considering dissolving my company, Soft went and won the grand prize at the European Short Film Festival in Reus (near Barcelona in Spain). I couldn't believe it, this far down the line, at the very end of the film's festival life and in its last competition. I was so sure that its run was over, especially when it was up against Rúnar Rúnarsson's Smáfuglar (Iceland), a beautifully crafted awards-botherer. I couldn't think of anything to say that came close to the immense gratitude I felt. It is literally a life-changing prize right now.

It was a colourful trip all round, with moments like falling backwards into a bath while brushing my teeth and landing directly on the unforgiving taps, or walking out of a tourist shop in Barcelona's main train station in such a daze that I didn't realise I was holding a tourist map I hadn't paid for, which now makes me a criminal. Some extremely sad news was one of the festival staff being jumped by three oxygen-thieving boneheads who tried to steal his bag while he walked home from the club on closing night. He allegedly sustained awful head injuries but is okay internally. There are some real bastards in this world.

01-03-09 / FILM INSIDERS TALENT FESTIVAL
Just back from Barrow-in-Furness in the Lake District, where I sat on a panel to yak about "the leap from shorts to features" with Nottingham producer Al Clark and others. It was so brilliant to get away into Cumbria's fresh air for even a short time. The skies were grey and threatened to unzip on us but it didn't matter. I hadn't been across Kirkstone Pass for ten years and it was a real tickle going through it again, having become so familiar with the route in my photography days.

The fog prevented us from seeing much at high altitudes but it was a buzz just to stand at the edge of Ullswater and wee on a tree, the clean air being essential compensation for eating nothing but rubbish food and drinking too much alcohol. I wanted to row a boat on Ullswater but they wouldn't let me until Easter. We stayed above a cosy pub where they don't even lock the door at night and inside the celings had loads of low beams for you to twat your head on. Most significantly, it smelled wonderfully nostalgic, like a musty pantry or second-hand bookshop, or my grandma's house when I was but a little scrote.

The trip also rekindled the urge to begin a short film in the area this spring. It's an ambitous project that marries my night photography background to film and it will take years to complete, involving lots of trial and error, the invention of a bespoke camera mount, and many hours sitting next to mountains through the night with a blanket and a pot noodle. The best-case scenario will be that I have an IMAX masterpiece on my hands. The worst-case scenario is that I will be found dead in a stream at the bottom of the valley like the dead zombie at the end of 28 Days Later (which was actually filmed there).

25-02-09 / DUBLIN INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL
The screening in Dublin was a pleasant affair with almost all of the cast present. I completely forgot to take my camera along to the show, so there are no pictures. There is an interview with Irish national radio station RTE here, an interview from Totally Dublin magazine here, and a scrappy scan of a post-Rotterdam Screen International article here.

Saw a whole bunch of other films too, my favourite being Andreas Dresen's Cloud 9. Anvil's appearance at the screening of Anvil! The Story of Anvil was memorable enough, as it's not every day you get to see a metal band perform in a cinema after a screening. Oh, and my smart-arse predictions for the BAFTA and Oscar winning shorts were fantastically wrong.

03-02-09 / ROTTERDAM PRESS
Some tidbits of press from the festival papers - one interview in English (It's high time I got a new publicity shot) and another in Dutch. I have translated the Dutch one but I don't feel like including the results as it would suggest that I think someone actually gives a shit.

There are also a couple of rather unflattering pictures that were taken the morning after a heavy night. Nothing like crawling out of bed with eyes like atoms for a photocall. The paper even reveals how I slept through my scheduled appointment (I ignored it), only for the hotel staff to walk into my room and offer a rude awakening. Now call me miserable but you can't just tell someone at short notice that you want to photograph them in their shared room when there are pants, socks, beer bottles and a composer laying around. My escape plan didn't quite work out and after regaining unconsciousness almost immediately I had to gimp myself two hours later. The photographer had this 'theme' where he was capturing directors in their hotel rooms doing something 'interesting', so after a bleary shot in the hotel reception we headed upstairs and I opted to hide down in between the twin beds with only my arm visible, thrusting an apple into the air. The apple was shit. Golden delicious, which are everything but. A shot at fame while held aloft in the boy-room atmosphere, turning yellow, was more than it deserved. Filmmakers at festivals and early mornings just don't mix.

The scan above just means that we were the most viewed, proving that word-of-mouth was effective, maybe because of the success of Soft or maybe because of the title, but I like the way that a canny bit of cropping suggests that the film was the most popular in the festival (snicker).

31-01-09 / THOUGHTS AFTER ROTTERDAM
Well, the screens were HUGE and the shows sold out but the whole thing was so surreal I don't really know what to make of it all. Word of mouth on the film was big, topping the official 'most viewed' list in the video library, but those who responded to it most were definitely the film students I got to meet while there. Two of the actors (Kate Heppell and Justine Glenton) were also in attendance, as were two of the producers (Allan Niblo and Jane Hooks) and the film's composer (Tom Bailey).

There was little time to catch any of the other films between three screenings of my own, interviews and Q&A sessions, which was something of a skiddy bummer. A couple of critics have responded as expected so no real surprises there. Compared to somewhere like Sundance I thought the festival itself was great and the technical side of things was top-notch so I'm well pleased to have premiered there, even if I saw nothing of the city. I bumped into many familiar faces from other festival jaunts and I was even grown-up enough to get an early night on the final evening. Shameful, that.

The only terrible, terrible thing was discovering a mistake in the opening credits. It's too late to fix this for the cinema release but it will be corrected for the DVD. I could have died. Massive apologies to Production Designer Sami Khan, who is erroneously credited as Costume Designer for the time being. When I called to tell him he followed his "thanks for ruining my weekend" with a hearty laugh, which was really bloody gracious, I thought.

I feel the need to bring some attention to a festival report by a David Jenkins who, by some miracle I cannot fathom, ‘writes’ for Time Out (and I use inverted commas in honour of his own apparent obsession with them, to be, y'know, 'ironic'). In prose better suited to red-top newspapers, he refers to Singaporian director Royston Tan as the “Singaporese underachiever”. Apart from unintentionally inventing a new word in the first half of that two-word statement, the second is nothing short of ludicrous and factually inaccurate. Having completed four feature films by the age of thirty-two, you would be hard-pressed to find someone as prolific as Mr Tan, who seemed close to exhaustion when I last met him. I very much doubt the same can be said of someone who spends his career scribbling, it would seem, about other peoples' work. Would Jenkins say the same about others of similarly unstoppable output? Shane Meadows, for example? Makes my piss boil.  Mr Jenkins, remember to a) research, and b) write with even a little flair.  It’s the very least you can do.

25-01-09 / DOGGING IN ROTTERDAM AND DUBLIN / OSCAR NOMINATIONS
It's the world premiere of Dogging: A Love Story in Rotterdam tomorrow night, eek!

Apologies to those who booked tickets to Dublin International Film Festival for Dogging: A Love Story before the infuriating change of screening date at the eleventh hour. Well, there are only two of you who were organised enough to book before the switch, but it doesn't hurt to exaggerate one's popularity if the mood fits. Right now I'm in a fairly vacant mood. A brain of broken biscuits. Held together by cheap jam. I'm having a spaz of a time trying to write a new feature film, spending more hours researching than actual writing, in the hope that when my cup runneth over with knowledge it will just shoom out of my fingertips onto the page. Yeah, right.

Congratulations to Reto Caffi on his Oscar nomination for his short film Auf der Strecke (On the Line). Having already watched the film bag many awards, it doesn't come as too much of a surprise. Reto, I haven't forgotten that you still owe me a couple of vodkas, so now you can make it a bottle if you bring home the bronze fella, thank you very much, ta, nice one. Competition will be tough with the Irish short New Boy also nominated. I think it's exactly the kind of film the academy will go for. Plus, it's Irish. Say no more. My prediction is that New Boy will scoop the Oscar and Sam Taylor-Wood's Love You More will take the BAFTA. The whole thing reminds me of Soft being disqualified from the oscar nominations last year because of a 3am screening on UK television. Television, of all things, something I couldn't care less about and only have the misfortune to spar with when I drop by friends' houses to eat their food. Some of which I might throw at said telly.

13-01-09 / DOGGING IN ROTTERDAM
I almost forgot, my debut feature Dogging: A Love Story is set to premiere at Rotterdam International Film Festival in two weeks. It screens on the 26th, 27th, 29th and 31st, just in case you are passing through, like.

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